The Theory

attachment theory

What is Attachment Theory?

There are now four distinguished categories in attachment theory being:

Attachment styles are more of a spectrum and we can be a mix of everything based on individual relationships.

No matter where you fall on the spectrum, your attachment style is not stagnant and can be altered through conscious effort. In understanding your behaviors and reframing your beliefs about relationships, change is possible.

The goal is to bring awareness and understanding to destructive patterns and to start embodying ways that will build lasting and meaningful connections that feel safe and secure.

Attachment Theory

Research shows that your attachment style can play a big role in the satisfaction of all of your relationships.

In understanding our attachment styles, we can begin forming healthy relationships.

No matter where you fall on the spectrum, your attachment style is not stagnant and can be altered through conscious effort.

We ALL have anxious and avoidant tendencies and whether you’re anxious, avoidant, secure, or anxious-avoidant, this is the game for you.

In understanding your behaviors and reframing your beliefs about relationships, change is possible.

The goal is to bring awareness and understanding to destructive patterns and to start embodying ways that will build lasting and meaningful connections that feel safe and secure.

Attachment Style Characteristics

secure

  • Do not need constant reassurance or security
  • Asks for needs and respects the needs of others
  • Still makes mistakes but can bounce back faster and more fully from disappointments
  • Flexible in relationships
  • Value relationships, collaboration, and fairness
  • Focuses on the problem, not the person
  • Value repair when there has been an injury or breach in a relationship
  • Handle differences and complexity in relationships with confidence
  • Able to adjust to change

avoidant (dismissive)

  • Less likely to trust others to meet their needs
  • Difficulty communicating needs
  • Do not like feeling unfairly blamed, condemned, or judged
  • Minimize or denies the needs of others
  • Difficulty empathizing
  • Feeling trapped when the other person wants to be close physically or emotionally

anxious (preoccupied)

  • Constantly worried about the state of the relationship
  • Fears rejection and abandonment
  • Often uses protest behavior and blame in high stress situations
  • Overly focused on the state of others
  • Want to give and receive maximally
  • More prone to resentment

anxious-avoidant (disorganized)

  • Reactive to any form of relationship
  • Any attempts of connection is met with distrust and defensiveness in order to protect themselves from harm
  • Does not see value in themselves or others, may hurt others, may be aggressive
  • Short relationships
  • Does not respect needs and boundaries of others