Attachment Style Characteristics


  • Do not need constant reassurance or security
  • Asks for needs and respects the needs of others
  • Still makes mistakes but can bounce back faster and more fully from disappointments
  • Flexible in relationships
  • Value relationships, collaboration, and fairness
  • Focuses on the problem, not the person
  • Value repair when there has been an injury or breach in a relationship
  • Handle differences and complexity in relationships with confidence
  • Able to adjust to change

avoidant (dismissive)

  • Less likely to trust others to meet their needs
  • Difficulty communicating needs
  • Do not like feeling unfairly blamed, condemned, or judged
  • Minimize or denies the needs of others
  • Difficulty empathizing
  • Feeling trapped when the other person wants to be close physically or emotionally

anxious (preoccupied)

  • Constantly worried about the state of the relationship
  • Fears rejection and abandonment
  • Often uses protest behavior and blame in high stress situations
  • Overly focused on the state of others
  • Want to give and receive maximally
  • More prone to resentment

anxious-avoidant (disorganized)

  • Reactive to any form of relationship
  • Any attempts of connection is met with distrust and defensiveness in order to protect themselves from harm
  • Does not see value in themselves or others, may hurt others, may be aggressive
  • Short relationships
  • Does not respect needs and boundaries of others