Attachment Style Characteristics

secure

• Do not need constant reassurance or security
• Asks for needs and respects the needs of others
• Still makes mistakes but can bounce back faster and more fully from disappointments
• Flexible in relationships
• Value relationships, collaboration, and fairness
• Focuses on the problem, not the person
• Value repair when there has been an injury or breach in a relationship
• Handle differences and complexity in relationships with confidence
• Able to adjust to change

avoidant (dismissive)

• Less likely to trust others to meet their needs
• Difficulty communicating needs
• Do not like feeling unfairly blamed, condemned, or judged
• Minimize or denies the needs of others
• Difficulty empathizing
• Feeling trapped when the other person wants to be close physically or emotionally

anxious (preoccupied)

• Constantly worried about the state of the relationship
• Fears rejection and abandonment
• Often uses protest behavior and blame in high stress situations
• Overly focused on the state of others
• Want to give and receive maximally
• More prone to resentment

anxious-avoidant (disorganized)

• Reactive to any form of relationship
• Any attempts of connection is met with distrust and defensiveness in order to protect themselves from harm
• Does not see value in themselves or others, may hurt others, may be aggressive
• Short relationships
• Does not respect needs and boundaries of others